Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Viva American Fork!

I suppose an update is in order, at least regarding that last Elvis gig.

No matter how many of these I do (and I've done this, what, tens of times thus far), it always takes me until, say, the hour before a performance to feel comfortable with it. The week before, I feel like an unprepared buffoon, a notch below a trained monkey, an amateur during amateur hour, etc., etc. When I'm stepping into my suit and trying not to snag myself on the spangles, I'm thinking about bagging the whole thing altogether. Regularly. It's hard on the nerves. It's not until I've driven that long stretch of highway and waved at kids calling out to Elvis that I finally think to myself, "Self, I can do this." And so it was with this one.

It was a 50's themed wedding, which meant people could have dressed up if they'd so desired. Aside from the little boys walking around handing out Cracker Jacks like it was a baseball game ... and the bride and groom, looking like they'd raided their parents' closets ... nobody had chosen that option. Walking up, then, I sorta stood out. After photo op's a-plenty, I began singing for people at their tables. I had to do battle with the speakers playing Norah Jones, but I think I handled myself alright. Even without tips.

It didn't take long for me to feel like the uninvited guest who simply wouldn't go away. At receptions, there is a constant flow of the come 'n go. I just came and tried making myself look comfortable for a couple hours. As Elvis. Nobody really knew me but the bride and, well, she was pretty busy. This left me to sip on pink sugary beverages and look like I was busy, too. And I wasn't really keen on eating BBQ'ed hot dogs. I surveyed the scene a whole lot from different parts of the outdoor ampitheater, marking my next move. I'd move, ask if I could give a certain gray-haired lady-fan a song, proceed to do so, bow and do it all over again. To do so with the greatest of ease was a little intimidating, but I managed okay.

Got persuaded into singing over the PA system (sans backup tracks) and that was enough to make my head spin (or it was those eight pink beverages and Cracker Jacks maybe). Best part of wearing sunglasses? You can close your eyes, feel the moment and just have fun with it. The newlyweds even attempted to slow dance to my take on "Love Me", but gave up halfway. It was a bleeding riot. I just wish people had gone on eating their cake instead of turning to me, trying out what karaoke unplugged was like (not recommended). I told my stepdad about it later and he mentioned I should throw a bunch of bubbly drinks back beforehand in the future. Maybe when I branch out to doing the happy slurring Dean Martin, right?

Consensus? I got paid more than I ever have before to be someone I like so much that I mimick him on a regular basis. $100 down (she earned it during the money dance), with a promise she'd send me the rest later. What's more, I didn't throw up. But I think I'll stick to telegrams in the future. They're just more my style.

I wish I had photos to share, but that's just going to have to wait. And remember: Patience is a virgin.


Sherpa said...

I won't disrobe patience. I'll wait quietly for those pictures.

k8 said...

patience is a virgin! i' totally going to use that.