Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Potty humor.


I recently had to get a new cell phone. My not-so-little brick of a Nokia was a real champ, sure, but it was also a relic. It existed before that whole “cameras on your telephone” phenomenon came about. While it had a cracked face and was dropped on a regular basis, it was built Ford Tough and kept on going. Until I took it swimming in the hot tub with me, that is. I mean, it dried off after a day and was all prepared to continue in the battle, but its time had come. I couldn’t put up with the fact it’d decided to stop ringing altogether and would randomly push buttons all by itself. I’m not such a fan of a possessed cell phone.


You know what else I’m not a fan of? Upgrading. This is why I still live in the same place after 6 or 7 or 8 years (I lose count). This is why I wanted to drive my car a lot longer than it wanted to allow me to do so. I gradually get used to new ideas, but it takes me some time. I like being used to things. Change, on the other hand, is difficult.

With change, however, comes a certain sense of fascination. I received my slick, black Nokia a few days ago and, well, I can’t stop looking at it. It’s horribly loud, its ringer is that new Fall Out Boy song (you know the one, right?) and it even comes with a camera. It was with this sense of awe that I decided to look at it some while I was in the bathroom this afternoon. In fact, I took my first photo while I was in there. I had the passing thought that I might send one of these photos to someone, but that’s what’s so perfect about passing thoughts – they go away. In this case, there was likely a very good reason for that.



Don’t go getting the wrong idea. I was comfortably seated and decided to take a headshot, nothing more. When I tried to take another one, though, it wouldn’t work. There was no clickety-clicking camera sound when I pushed the button a second, third, fourth time. When I finally turned the phone around to try and figure out what the problem was, my horrors were realized: I’d sent my smiling mug on to the last person I’d called. From the toilet.

The last person I called was someone I’d recently started spending some time with. I wasn’t real sure how she’d react to my sending her a photograph of myself in the bathroom. How would anyone react, right? The sad fact is, well, all bathroom stalls look the same and seeing the top of a toilet is a dead giveaway. There was no lying my way out of this one. When she sent me a message asking if I was in the bathroom, all I could muster was a, “Yeah. Whoops. Sorry.”

From now on, the telephone stays here when nature calls. Accidents happen, but this one shant be repeated.

UPDATE: Got a call from the picture-receiver today. Asked if I was busy. Before I was able to answer she gave me a follow-up question: "What I mean to say is, well, are you busy at work ... or busy in the bathroom?" Everyone's a comedian. Or comedianne.

8 comments:

aisy said...

that is freaking hilarious...

Cindy said...

I would like to see this picture. It's a good thing you didn't accidentally send her the other photos you were taking in the bathroom!

Dainon said...

I thought of posting the photo, but I didn't want to gross anybody out. And who knows how to get pictures off their phone? Not I.

And, luckily, she's still talking to me. Very nice.

plainoldsarah said...

i'm just glad to hear you got another nokia - i always loved that brand - never had problems with mine.

isn't there a delete option in the photo section? read your manual - that's what it's made for.

heatherlynn said...

i love this post A LOT. it's perfection!

please post the photo?

Dainon said...

Eh, hmm. I'm sorta working on it. If and when I can figger out this phone, it'll happen.

HEY!
You should know how I post camera photos! You're the master! Teach me of thy ways ...

heatherlynn said...

instead of sending it to a phone number--send it to your email address. you can change the numbers to letters and type it in. works like a dream!

Dainon said...

Thank you, O Wise One. I have sat at your feet and learned great things this evening.