Thursday, May 17, 2007

Three things I’ve learned in the last 24 hours.

1. I can run three miles without stopping … or dying. I know it’s hard to believe—most especially for myself—but I did it for the first time yesterday. Twice around the Liberty Park extended oval. I sounded a lot like a hyperventilating asthmatic towards the end, but I made it. As far as I’m concerned, running on a treadmill for six miles is nothing compared to running outside. Plus, I got to see the Pink Guy walking around, having a pretty in depth conversation with himself. It doesn’t get better than that. I’ll be doing it all over again today. This bodes well for the 5K (Ogden Marathon edition) I’ll be participating in on Saturday.

2. Dating on the Internet is so so so silly. Buying into a seemingly perfect girl 20 or so states away, digging on the fact that she is crushing on you in return, staying up all night long to talk, sending flirty little notes to one another for months on end and enduring countless telephone photographs featuring the happiest, prettiest smile ever? That’s not reality, my friend. It is, however, a complete fantasy. Does it smart a little when you learn that she woke up and decided to go off and marry one of her friends in the woods one day, bypassing alla that boyfriend/girlfriend nonsense that gets in the way? Yeah, but you get over it.

See, this whole Internet possibility of love is so strained. People let you into a very small facet of their lives for a while, but rarely open up entirely. The version they show can be perfect, as long as they’re careful with what gets revealed and what doesn’t. There’s nothing in the rulebook about giving you the play by play on what else is happening in their lives. So, when it all goes down, you were a fancy-schmancy pastime, little else. Note to self: Cease the Internet quasi-flirtations, because they’ll get you in the end.

Sorta reminds me of the time it didn’t work out with me and my Russian fling in New York City. I was 27, she was 37. In the end, she married a guy she met on the Internet, promptly decided he was her as a man, then went to Vegas to get married in a drive-thru chapel. I mean, they didn’t even get out of the car. I wonder if a burger and fries came with that?

Anyway, the good thing is, I’m not bitter. It’s funny. And, for entirely different reasons, it’s funny how you can be driven to wanting to congratulate her on a job well done on the one hand, yet want to flog yourself for being such an idiot on the other. As I said before, so silly. So so so silly.

3. Noise putty isn’t as much fun when nobody’s around. When you buy it at a random store in St. George on you way down to a work event in Vegas for $2, then proceed to make great farting songs the rest of the way down, well, it is worth its weight in gold. Especially if he’s on an important phone call. When somebody in the office buys you some, it’s jolly good fun, too. Especially when you can coerce your co-workers into making faces that coincide with the noises you create. But, when people leave for lunch, leaving you alone with your Flarp! putty, it sorta loses something. Granted, you can still get the giggling fits when producing a particularly authentic blast, but when there’s nobody to congratulate you on a job well done—or to look disgusted—what’s the point? I mean, with either reaction, you win.

14 comments:

Sarita said...

Congrats on the 5k.

My father created an account on a singles site for me when he worried that I didnt date enough. The result? I realized that internet dating is so so silly and unrealistic.

Kudos to those who it works for, thats just not me.

tim & brandi said...

Running outside is MUCH more difficult than running on a treadmill, especially if you're on the woodchips at Liberty Park - it can be more work for your legs...so good job!

As for the internet dating, it's impossible (read: ridiculous) to "date" via the internet, but it can be a great way to meet & sort of get to know someone you may like to date. I can thank the world wide internet for introducing me to my husband.

~b

ZLB said...

amen to all three.

Anne said...

Congrats on the nonstop outdoor run. That is huge!!

Online dating? Yuck!

f*bomb. said...

These events are all a part of growing up. It's touching to see you make these steps. Honestly.

plainoldsarah said...

hooray for learning!

i want to check out that putty, though, it sounds cool!

Laurie said...

Three miles outdoors?! Dang!! Dainon, you're officially too cool for school.

And yes, I agree with Brandi and all the others... it's good to MEET someone online, but date in person.

Krispy said...

You can be disappointed with dating in real life, too.

parisian cowboy said...

I think you're right about the internet dating stuff. It can't work.

Cindy said...

You're just now figuring out this internet dating stuff?

Cindy said...

Ugh, I was going to write more and say stuff about silly putty, but I accidentally hit the return button. I love making little air pockets and snapping them with the putty. Sort of like those little plastic bubbles. I'm also a little autistic.

Sherpa said...

I totally agree about the online dating sentiment. Meet online is okay, but date in person. A girl once told me that she had been dating someone all week...really, she'd been staying up all night to talk to a guy online. That's not dating in my world, its just online chatting (which is fun, but not the same as meeting someone in real life).

Camille Hally said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ck said...

dainon -

will you date me?