Sunday, February 24, 2008

Smack that.

I am an advocate of buying things used. My car was used when I snatched it up a couple years back and, when the time is right, I'm known to pick up a bunch of old men's ties in consignment stores. Everything is relatively cheaper that way and I'm all for a steal. Either that or I'm cheap. When my cell phone suddenly broke at the tail end of last week, however, my first idea was not to go and buy a used cell phone. Never crossed my mind. Sometimes, another man's trash is still another man's trash. Being an impulsive buyer, however, led me to buying a model that either a) sounded like I was carrying on a conversation while I was doing the breast stroke or b) in range of the Mother ship landing on an airstrip somewhere near me. The little shop, however, would not allow me to refund the money I'd paid, even after explaining my dilemma (and not in a particularly nice kinda way). They stood firm. Because it was making me feel really sort of dirty to be there and because an exchange appeared to be my only ticket out, my only options were to go for the most generic new model possible or an upgraded used one. What'd I do? I bought another man's trash. And, after a perusal of the text messages and inbox and such, I have made a frightening discovery: I own a gangsta's phone. That's him below.

Pretty fella, eh? I can't tell you much about the guy with the Billy Goat Gruff across the chin, other than this: at one time or another, this bad boy had "Milkshake", "Smack That" and "London Bridge" as his various ringtones. It's up to you to figure out which of those three I've decided to use as my own. Just know it makes me laugh like crazy every time my phone rings. I doubt that'll die down anytime soon.

12 comments:

tim & brandi said...

Whoa. He looks like one of the guys from American History X. Unfortunately you aren't able to keep his same phone number because I'd be willing to bet that you'd get invited to some truly memorable parties.

t.

David Jack said...

there is something living in that mass of hair.

Ashley said...

With that phone, you'd fit in well at my school down here in the hood. Any cred I once had with white-bread indie kids in Utah is now gone-- I don't even know what these kids are listening to here, nor do I really want to.

It makes me feel old.

Dainon. said...

tim ... I bet he could introduce me to some good concrete gutters around this town.

dave ... so I'm not the only one that sees something in there too, eh? Look at it long enough and I swear it moves.

ash ... you IS old, but I still have you by a few. Plus, aren't white-bread Utah kids boring compared to the ones calling you Matt Damon's baby daddy?

plainoldsarah said...

for the record... your phone that you had for years and loved was a nokia - then you took it hot tubbing. so you got a new one. and didn't it get dropped in the toilet but the magic oven trick fixed it. but it is now dead and you got a "new" one? it seems the toilet phone didn't last nearly as long as the nokia. was it a nokia? i like to know these things because i like to think that nokias are like the samsonites of the cell phone world. what brand is the gangsta phone?
p.s. i vote you kept milkshake. i have no idea what any of them sound like but milkshakes are yummy.

Dainon. said...

Once again, it's a Nokia. If they didn't go swimming with me alla the time, they'd all still be alive, too.

sir mister landlord sir said...

Dainon, you really messed up this time.

Melanie said...

Hey, I think I know that guy.

Just kidding...but actually he does look awfully familiar in that hope you're not here to mug me kinda way.

Jillian said...

I think the head tilt and pleading eyes give him the 'gangster with a heart of gold' kind of look.

p.s. I am hoping you kept Milkshake as your ringtone.

Dainon. said...

Oh, I have them all. I just happen to be using "Smack That." And I have learned today how embarrassing it is to have my new phone ring at work.

Ashley said...

Dainon--I can't be Matt Damon's baby daddy, but I see your point, however genetically impossible.

Dainon. said...

Forgive me. I appear to have bungled the lingo. My bad.