Thursday, April 03, 2008

Hippy hippy shake.

I suppose it's a big deal that Martin Scorsese filmed the Stones on tour and created a documentary out of it. That, in effect, would be the reason why the trailers have shown up all over the Internets and sprawled across my TV and before my movies in the theater. It's why Martin is pushing hard for me to be his MySpace friend even, with his desperate smile and earnest eyebrows. I like me some classic-era Stones. I even adore (yes, adore) some of Mick's solo career stuff ... producer Rick Rubin did wonders on his Wandering Spirit album. I do believe I'll see the thing, though maybe way, way past the point it finally premieres tomorrow. I can't imagine there will be sold-out crowds for it anyway: they just aren't what they used to be. While the "boys" are still trying hard to be boys, their skin is creased and sagged and though Keith (aka "Keef") still looks more confused than most grandpas I've ever had, known or met. Their biggest hits are still the ones our parents heard when they were our age.

All that aside ... if I have to see Mick showing off his little girl waist even once more ... leaping in the air so his T-shirt will fly up like so ... I'm going to have to do something drastic. We get that you move around plenty, Mick. We know you can barely sit still, be it in concert or during an interview for PARADE. We know that you run up and down stages as big as football fields without so much as breaking a sweat. Why? We've seen it happen; we've marveled at it, even. But, for the love of all that is good and holy, nobody wants to see your hips (or skinny-scrawny lack thereof). Maybe the yes-men are telling you otherwise, but I'm here to wake you up to the reality of things. Have we learned nothing from Iggy Pop still attempting to go shirtless, right into retirement? Cover up already, m'kay? It's the good, decent thing to do.

And, no, for those who live in caves, I shall not be posting an example of what I'm talking about. If you haven't seen this, just be good and glad. You are, after all, the very luckiest ones.


Ashley said...

I think Iggy Pop is worse, but I heartily concur. Guess the Mormon mythology about him leading the kids to hell (or whatever it was) must be true. Tee hee. But yeah, put on a damn shirt, Mick.

Dainon. said...

It's not so much going shirtless that bothers me (with the Iggy exception). He's just way too proud to show off that skeeny waist.

Laurie said...

I totally snorted with laughter at the "Parade" comment.

You are a clever, clever man, Dainon.