Saturday, April 05, 2008

Message in a bottle.

The Internet is a weird world to exist in. This is not a newsflash. Today's oddity = people who want to become your "friends" when they've never spoken with you, either in person or via e-mail. I'm not sure why this happens, really. In real life, I seriously doubt I'd walk up to a person on the street and ask if I could be their friend, no matter how much I might feel like I want to really be theirs. Asking the question would get me punched in the face or ran away from (or perhaps both). On the Internet, however? All bets are off. In the cyber scheme of things, there's apparently nothing wrong with wanting to amble over and get friendly. It's practically the polite thing to do.

Not long ago, in a little land we'll call Facebook, some cute young thing wanted to get friendly with me. I'd never written to her and she'd never written to me but, well, she was extending the hand of friendship. I was friendly in return, but apparently not friendly enough. I sent her this message that, in my mind, was kinda hilarious. As for her? She failed to see the humor in my words ... as in she never wrote me back. I'm okay with that. He who laughs last, still laughs last. Nothing wrong with that.


So. I have no idea who you are, really, but I have learned a few things after perusing your many, many photos ...

1. Whatever you do for a job now, quit it. You could be Carmen Electra's stunt double in any movie she stars in from this point out. Does she even do stunts? Maybe she will once you start helping her out. Good luck.

2. You dress like a pirate and like to jump on people a lot. Either it's Halloween or, well, it's just your thing. Not that anybody was complaining. I saw smiles all over the place.

3. I'm pretty certain Paris would like the fact you said "Now that's HOT" as much as you did. She holds the patent on that phrase, you know. And you're carrying the torch. Good on you. With a phrase like that, we can change the world, one socialite at a time.

4. Provo? Really?

5. Oh, and you seem to know some of the same people I know. And you like to hang out with them ... and large crowds of people ... a lot. You're a people person. Really, you are.

That's about it. Thanks for allowing me a window into your world.

14 comments:

k8 said...

hilarious. and awesome.

Laurie said...

Ha, that IS funny... your message that is.

Shame she didn't write back. (I would think she'd be flattered... ?) If I had never poked at my husband online the way she did you, I would be sitting here, still a single woman. Of that I am sure.

aisy said...

was it intended to be hilarious to laugh with her or at her?

see, i think it's funny, but if i thought you were "flirting", i'd think that 2, 3, and 4 were kinda making fun of me.


ahhh facebook.

Dainon. said...

I thought it was ridiculous to be-friend a stranger, so I sent her something equally ridiculous in response. As for whether or not she ever got it, well, I'll never know.

Sara said...

Looks like you put a lot of thought into your email. Maybe that scared her.

Mellie said...

That was/is frickin' awesome! She probably couldn't think of a clever enough response.

I would never walk up to a stranger and ask to be their friend. However, sometimes you see someone and you just know that you are kindred spirits. I'm more likely to try to talk to a person then. Maybe she just thought you were kindred spirits?

Lincoln said...

i'm totally going to start stalking you on facebook.

Dainon. said...

If Lincoln were only a girl, that'd make the last comment that much LESS creepy.

*shudder*

chelsea said...

what if she reads your blog and that's how she found out about you in the first place? now THAT would be funny

Dainon. said...

That's exactly the kind of risk I'm willing to take. I'm not sure she reads anything outside of, say, VOGUE magazine. Call it a hunch.

sir mister landlord sir said...

I find if I dress really cool—Dennis Rodman jersey and a gold chain—plenty of strangers offer to be my friend. Also, try saying stuff like "pitcher's got a big butt" at baseball games—you'll find that your real and online lives go stride for stride as far as strangers wanting to be your friend goes.

upto12 said...

Facebook is for the kids, D. All this talk and you're not even willing to share a single picture of the befriending stranger?

Dainon. said...

Was this cause she looked like Carmen Electra? Hoss ... you are a dirty bird.

emily said...
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