Saturday, August 02, 2008

Rockin' the Suburbs.

Today's tip
: If you're going to camp in somebody's backyard, it's probably best to clear it with those living in the house beforehand. They'd probably end up a lot less scared. Then again, if you did that all the time, where would the spontaneity and adventure be?

On second thought? Eh, scratch today's tip.

I should go on record and say that, well, had the mountains had any vacancies in their campgrounds, we'd have gone there instead. I really wanted and craved and needed some mountain time. The campfires smelled superb, the brisk air felt all kinds of delicious and those hogging up the outdoor space appeared to be really, really happy there. Still, they were all full up. I knew my friend Chris was gone for the weekend and I knew he had a great little deck just above a creek in his backyard so, with it getting dark out, it became Option No. 2. And, in short order, Option No. 2 moved to No. 1.

Only problem was, we hadn't considered he might have a roommate at home.

The dome tent fit almost perfectly on the deck. The bubbling brook in the ravine below was just enough to break up the noises attached to suburbs in the summertime. But, just about an hour into relaxing, we noticed someone standing not too far away, appearing to stare in our direction. A shaky question followed: "Who is it?" Not "Who are you?" or "What do you think you're doing?" but "Who is it?", like we'd knocked on the front door or something.

From the dark and not bothering to get out of my tent, I introduced myself. Once he figured out we were of the friendly trespassing persuasion and that we were not, in fact, there to kill him (his words, not ours), he went back inside, clearly shaken up. He may have even crapped his pants, though I'm not sure of that.

I'm not sure how well he thought things through, though. If we were, in fact, there to murder him in his sleep, would we have parked our Jeep in the driveway and set up a tent in his backyard? We were some kind of notorious Morning Murderers or something? There was a passing thought to leave him a note this morning, something along the lines of, "Actually, we were here to kill you, but we weren't really feeling up to it. Maybe we'll do it next time we're around, but we were more hungry for a stack of pancakes this morning than your blood. It happens."

We would have done it, too (left a note, that is), but pancakes actually did sound nice.


frog said...

I love this story. Way to go you. I chuckled.

Whatevz... said...

I think killing before hotcakes and coffee could possibly ruin the appetite, but hey that's just a hunch.

Yeehaw said...

That's the funniest thing I've read all week. Thanks for the laugh!

f*bomb. said...

When I worked in Alaska, my friend came home to his tent with a family of 4 in it. He was so tired after another 18 hour day in the cannery, he just politely asked them to scoot over so he could go to bed.

Rachel said...

HA! This story is brilliant!