Monday, November 03, 2008

So much to say.

Ever notice how so few take the time to just talk to someone else anymore? I've been noticing this trend for several weeks now. Maybe it's always existed and I'm just now cluing into things. I count myself among the pretty careful observers, but I don't know ... maybe. There appears to be little regard given for someone who wants to share his or her honest thoughts with somebody else. They're cut off at the pass before they've the chance to begin. Maybe it's not convenient to share their time. Is it a lack of patience or a general interest or complete disregard? Is it the effect of a frenzied mind that must always move on to the next thing? Can there be a pause button placed on life itself now and again as real-life conversations are allowed to make a comeback? Can we be set on hum a while and listen and accept and enjoy? I wonder.

There are too many judgment calls made in the process of a back-and-forth conversation or too many other things for the listener to do and, well, that list goes on. It's the equivalent of inhaling the half-cooked fast food combo when there's steak and potatoes to be chewed carefully, considering flavors all the while. It saddens me a bit, I'm not going to lie. It does, however, make the rare person who does listen to you when you need someone to talk to on the telephone a complete treasure. And, when you have a friend over who talks with you until you both run right out of words, that's one of the nicest things this old world has to offer as well. I simply wish it happened more.

I'd like to see us taking more time out for the ones we hold close and care for ... each time it happens, it's a genuine gift. If I had my magic wand, I'd wave it around a few times and make it happen, too. Life is too short to play it otherwise.


Mel said...

I fully agree with you. I think technology plays a part in our world becoming less personal. It seems like the human touch--and not just physical--is greatly lacking today. I even think I may be guilty of it at times. Anyway, well said.

lil' bohemian said...

Agreed. Did you steal my blog title?

bjean said...

I agree. Good conversation takes two people. Have you mastered the art since last Sunday?

Morley Muse said...

I agree, listening is a true gift, pure selflessness. I think trust grows between the listener and the communicator when this happens. When the listener gives of himself, relationships grow. I hope WE ALL remember how special and simple listening really is.

Dainon. said...

Mel, you sorta get what I mean ... and technology might very well do that ... but I'm talking about just diving into conversation with someone just for the sake of doing so. Talking without borders. Taking the time to talk, really talk, because someone else wants to or needs to. Maybe it's simply dying. So few do it anymore.

Dainon. said...

Bohemian ... didn't mean to, but it looks like my subconscious got the best o' me.

bjean ... I thank you for being so agreeable. I don't know that I've mastered the art, but it's entirely comforting when someone else meets you where you are in a discussion. It's a beautiful thing.

MM ... you got it.

thefish said...

I wonder sometimes if we are all trying too hard to be connected, to be heard or involved by using technology like cell phones and internet because life has gotten so fast and furious. Listening and conversations just to connect to someone, without agenda, without trying to get info, without trying to get something done are getting obsolete, and what are we doing to overcome that? Its almost as if we add the to static, trying to find a way to connect because everyone is so busy that time or culture doesn't make room for conversations.

I have found myself feeling this way.

I think it also relates to simple human touch, not just the touching of our thoughts.

We are starving.

I think the change from old fashion conversations and listening is also starving relationships, and marriages.

It is no wonder that the Holy Ghost only speaks to us in a still small voice. We have to strive to be in tune and to LISTEN to that voice.

I can't help but think that this is a type for us in our day to day lives, and an example in our relationships.

frog said...

I like the part about too many judgment calls.

Laura said...

Mmmhmm. I've had some of those thoughts myself.
Along with what everyone else has said I think it might be a bit of a cultural thing too. I've picked up the bad habit of cutting people off or running right over them when they talk - I certainly don't do it on purpose and I sort it as soon as I notice. I need to take the time to stop and listen and then wait my turn because it's not a competition to see who can say the most in the shortest amount of time.
It is pretty sad.
I like to listen as much as I like to talk... maybe moreso.

tanyamae said...

thanks for this dainon.

i am still learning to listen... it seems that i am pretty lucky to have listeners around me... these conversations or exchanges... they happen

time to pause ... feeling a freedom from judgment... and honesty as well... a willingness for both people to sit with the meaning of the words and the spaces between... that shift that happens when one person says something that matters... patients and acceptance

these moments are priceless and we have all felt them... they are also frightening... maybe it is why we dont feel them more...

next time i run into you i will try to bring my real self...i have found it only takes on real self to wake up the real in others... usually i am the one being woken up.