Monday, January 05, 2009

There may very possibly be blood.

Since before Christmas, my neighbor has had his or her bathroom fan turned to the ON position. I'm not one to tell people what they can or cannot do in their own homes, however, I can hear the loud rattle it has made—and continues to make—for the past, oh, 12 or 13 days and nights. I'm pretty sure that violates some kinda noise code we have in place in my building. For the duration of the time I've had off, then, I have heard what sounds like a small helicopter continually preparing to land on top of my bed. It's unnerving. I go to sleep at night trying to block out the sound and I wake up desperately trying to ignore it.

This isn't because I am a passive person, not in the least. When I thought it was my upstairs neighbor, they got a perfectly pissy little note on their door; we have since determined it's the guy below me making such ample use of his fan and not the kind folks above. Our property management sorts have received no less than four (sometimes) threatening phone calls from me, though they maintain they can't get into the place and shut it off without a locksmith handy as they do not have a master key. Sometimes I even stomp on the floor, even when I know nobody's listening. Meanwhile, it continues.

Last night at dinner, it was mentioned that an old woman died at their house ... only it was a month before she was discovered there. If the smell wasn't bad enough, she had actually started to become one with the floor, if you catch my drift. Unfortunate situation, yes, but an all too common one among those old people who live alone.

Conclusion? The guy below me is totally dead. That's got to be it. And, if he's not, and I happen to run into him in the hallway, I might just have to help him out with that part.


SJ said...

Hahahahaha. It could be worse though. My brother once lived in a townhome next to somewhat of a whore. Their bedrooms were right next to each other's dividing wall. And the walls were paper-thin. You can guess the rest of the unpleasantries.

Angenette said...

As someone who has smelled desd people, you'dknow if they were dead. And you'd never, ever forget what they smelled like.

Marie said...

Whatever makes your reality more bloggable, I recommend believing.

Lucy said...

Wouldn't you feel like pooh if you found out he really was dead?

Jillian said...

Oh my goodness, I am actually amazed that you have held on to as much sanity as you have.

Sara said...

A neighbor of mine runs her shower ALL NIGHT LONG, as a sort of white noise maker. The noise of her shower doesn't affect me, but I'm pretty much horrified at how she's wasting water. Your story just made me want to tell that story.

I hope the fan doesn't turn you crazy.