Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose.

I've been thinking of this one since last night.

"The wager with the highest stakes of all is with our hearts. Here is where we must accept risk, sometimes a lot of it, in order to win. In no other activity do we expect to be skilled from the outset. Everyone accepts the idea of a learning curve accompanied by sometimes-painful mistakes before we become adept. No one would expect to become good at skiing without falling down. And yet many people are surprised at the hurt that routinely accompanies our efforts to find someone worthy of our love.

To take the risks necessary to achieve this goal is an act of courage. To refuse to take them, to protect our hearts against all loss, is an act of despair." — Gordon Livingston

There are a lot of things I can say about this, but I'll break off a piece of what goes on inside. There is truth in these words ... truths that must be considered and possibly even added into the way I think and believe about the way I go about doing things. It's hard for me to get behind consistently accepting risk when it comes to matters of the heart, especially having risked and lost many times in my long, spotty career of loving and losing. I know I don't always go down this road, either ... there's protection there, based on my bagful of experiences. However ... I have always regarded those who've married and become parents and, sure, even entered into one of those longstanding relationships as brave, courageous people in my mind. They're the ones, after all, who've stepped off the cliff and believed in an eventual soft landing. I can't help but admire them.

Thanks, Gordon, for helping open the floodgates of thought some.


plainoldsarah said...

that is a great quote - and your thoughts are very inspiring too - something i needed right now. thank you! but i have to say as i started reading it i couldn't help but hear him talking about "the heart" as "the soul" - you know, the spirit, that sort of thing. both ways it's a good quote. it's nice ending my day with powerful uplifting thoughts. thanks.

Mich said...

"They're the ones, after all, who've stepped off the cliff and believed in an eventual soft landing."
I've never thought of myself as brave.

Kate said...

I think the most frustrating part about learning to love is that we can’t do it on our own, like with skiing where you can practice in solitude. We have to have that someone else there to witness every face plant. I admit I avoid such vulnerability as much as possible, but yet I'm perfectly aware that the humanness we see in each other is what makes that love even exist. Such a two-edged sword! Leo Buscaglia, my mentor, says that perfect love gives all and expects nothing—something I think Gordon would agree with. Thanks for your insight and honesty, Dainon.

ewesa said...

Risk. Such a strange concept, going into something not knowing really how hard or how lovely it'll be, and in what doses. The good thing is, though, that there are doses of both and the underlying love of God makes it possible to survive the hard and amplifies the good, so it's like the safest bet in the house. You're covered. But man, it's quite an experience!