· If you are a wasp trying to build one of your nests above my front door, be warned: I will come at you with my can of Aqua Net and not feel bad about it.
· Sometimes your friend’s 11-year-old daughter replaces a hello with “I like you better with a beard on.”
· Driving your car onto a beach and then parking on it is wrong on so many levels but, in quite another, oh, so right. So very right.
· Hearing an alligator growl, out of nowhere, even if it’s at another alligator getting all up in his gator business, most certainly can and will make my skin crawl.
· Christmas, FL, does exist. And there’s the son of a gator farmer there who got named HoHo. His folks were real jokers. It’s been said: “I bet HoHo could fight.”
· If you time it right, the temperature of the ocean matches the temperature of the air perfectly. And you’ll never want to leave the water until the sun goes to sleep.
· The birdseed’s on the back patio. That’s pretty far away from my car, way over on the other side of the house. Eat up, wild birds, but aim you bird butts away from my car. Seriously. Anything else is just bad manners.
· Meeting someone with the same unhurried sensibility as my own makes for a pleasant afternoon that turns into night really pretty quickly.
· Learning how to tether your phone to your computer makes you feel like you’ve unlocked and conquered a great secret in the universe.